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id Hires Garth Brooks for Quake 2 Soundtrack
MESQUITE, TX - id Software announced yesterday that it will be enlisting the musical talents of country music star Garth Brooks for the soundtrack of the upcoming Quake 2 videogame. According to a press statement, the decision to move from industrial rock to country was part of id's dedication to making Quake 2 "the most frightening and disturbing videogame in history."
Level designer American McGee had much to say about the controversial decision:
"Originally, we thought of contacting Marilyn Manson, since he's pretty damn weird" says McGee, "but hell, weird is IN nowadays. People just aren't scared of the Boogeyman anymore. So scratch the shock-rock thing.
"We also considered hiring Boyzone or the Backstreet Boys, since, well, for us, there's nothing more disturbing than a FreakyBoyBandTM. I mean, have you seen these guys' videos? Gives me goosebumps! But we figured they wouldn't be quite as disturbing without video accompaniment, and there's no way in hell we'd do that. Some things are just too perverted.
"Eventually we decided to use country music. Although we Texans think it's just fine and dandy, country just scares the bejeezus out of most folks. So we got in touch with Garth Brooks and he said he'd be glad to do it."
Apparently the news is already sending shivers down the spines of many Quakers. Several hundred members of the Quake community have all agreed that they would rather "gouge [their] eardrums out and fill the holes with cement than listen to that shit."
"See? It's working already," said McGee.
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