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Quakeguy to Star in Upcoming Barney Episode
TV LAND (Halogen) - In another attempt to appeal to a broader audience in the consumer industry, id Software has scheduled Quakeguy, star of the company's popular 3-D action game Quake, in an upcoming Barney episode, alongside the cuddly purple dinosaur and his loveable sidekicks using advanced compositing technology.
Aimed at teaching youngsters basic weapons training (a very useful skill in most urban areas), the episode "My First Frag" will feature the proper handling of nailguns and rocket launchers, with a special portion dedicated to axe usage. Young viewers will be encouraged to follow along with the exercises using the new line of 'Baddass Barney's Fully-Automatic WeaponsTM' (available at Walmart stores everywhere).
According to sources, the show's producers were at first reluctant to feature Quakeguy due to his inability to make non-violent facial expressions and his limited vocabulary of various grunts and screams. Fortunately, their fears were put aside after id suggested that he be given more appropriate roles, such as "The Schoolyard Bully," "Tech Support," or "Your Future Husband."
To solve conversational problems, plans are currently being made to use subtitles to represent the Quakeguy's voice, despite controversy spawned by concerned parents who argue that 'children who can't read have every right in the world to learn how to kill people.'
As for the stars of the show, both characters seem very happy about their arrangements:
"Yuk yuk yuk!" remarked Barney.
"Grrrrrrr," agreed Quakeguy.
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