Marine Quake Scandal Erupts![]() Sources reveal that the Quakers were secretly invited to participate in official military tests of the upcoming Marine Quake, a total conversion package to be used in training cadets. According to witnesses, the incidents began when Marine Quake developers decided to implement female player skins. "Once they [the Quakers] saw that there were women in the game, they stood there and kept typing pickup lines," remarked one of the witnesses. "When that didn't work, they finally started playing, but they'd only shoot us on the butt. And then they'd laugh at the broomstick and pineapple messages." The Quakers have also been accused of sending lewd, unprovoked and sexually suggestive messages during deathmatches over the Marine Corps' unlisted Quake server. Unknown to them at the time, the military was actively monitoring the server and kept a log of all activities. An excerpt from the log: ROMERO: I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY A GIRL AGAIN, DAMMIT! TOKAY: UH-OH, I'M GETTING W00D! AT EASE, PRIVATE! LEVELORD: DROP DOWN AND GIMME A <CENSORED>, SOLDIER! JANITOR_BOB: BABY, WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN IN MY TAN PICKUP TRUCK Preliminary trials are expected to begin next Thursday. Military police are rumored to be looking for an unidentified member of Clan RevCo who is said to have "streaked" with a nude skin during one of the games. |
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