Quakeweek
May 27, 1997


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Fox Licenses Quake 2 Engine

PointCast Unveils .PlanCast

Nike 'Foxes' AirFist

Carmack Scraps DLLs, Not 'BASIC' Enough

Carmack's Ferrari Made 'Internet-Ready'

id Renews Business Contract

NY's Dept. Of Transportation Eagerly Awaiting Quake Rally

Raven and Columbia Tristar Sponsor 'Serpent Rides'

Industrial Spy Pleads Guilty

International Red Cross to Begin Operations in Quake
Disney Begins Production on Quake! The Animated Movie


ORLANDO, FL (Jeff Miller) - Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney, announced early yesterday that the next animated musical produced by Walt Disney Pictures will tell the heartwarming story of Dank and Scud, those lovable buffoons who inhabit the world of Quake.

"I know that animating a gorefest like Quake doesn't quite fall into the tradition of Bambi, Mary Poppins, and The Little Mermaid," admits Eisner, "but our last picture was hardly all sugar and cream. If we managed to make a psychotic, deformed, socially maladjusted imbecile cute, don't you think we'll find a way to get a vore plastered on the walls of six year-olds everywhere?"

Adrian Carmack, one of id's artists, expresses admiration for Disney. "Yeah, I've always been a big fan of their stuff. Really influential. That part when Bambi's mom gets blasted. . . I was only six when I saw it, but I still remember saying, 'Way cool.'"

Dank"We've got high hopes for the feature," says Eisner. "A lot of the plot has already been mapped out in the Dank and Scud comics. We think that the two slaphappy Quake guys having to dine on freshly gibbed Shambler (ugh!) night after night will garner lots of belly-laughs. I can only imagine the sheer hilarity of watching the boys decapitate a trio of knights! And, just as in the Lion King, we plan on having plenty of songs about farting and eternal friendship, including, 'That's Not A Scrag I Smell!' and 'Hey, Goon, That's My Ta-Ta!'"

Scud"Pre-production is going very smoothly," assures Eisner. "In fact, we've already got actors lined up for a couple of roles. Scud will be played by that irritating 'Hey, Vern!' guy while Dank will be read by none other than McCauley Culkin, who's trying to break into deeper, more 'adult' roles.

American McGee has already started making promo levels for the movie. "We're putting together a free shareware episode called 'Tinkerbell's Castle of Gibbage.' Furry rabbits, singing candlesticks, sugarplum fairies (the gibs were really hard to texture on those things--they're nearly microscopic!), they're all there. Tinkerbell's one bad-ass fragmeister!"

"We're just tickled pink to be working with such a dedicated and profitable company as id," says Eisner. "The movie will rock your world."

Expect to see Quake! The Animated Movie at theaters everywhere in the summer of '98.